The arrival of the message coincided with intense events in my work life. The same kind of events that made me write about brain waves in 1999. The writing at that time was sparkled by another sincere and well-intended message.
"Very, very interesting your Web site. I'm surprising for "Free", I downloaded both programs and I'll try to learn. Do you won some big prize with this software? Why is free some version?"
The questions are legitimate and very sincere. The genuine sincerity of the message compelled me to leave the English unedited. Humans always expect ideas to be validated by reality. We have always moved forward because of our capacity to create ideas and because reality validates some. I declare on this Web site and try to prove that gambling is a science and that I have created the tools to win consistently. In reality, however, I live in poverty. There you have it: a huge contradiction.
I am offering a brief explanation not because of a feeling of guilt. This website is arguably the birthplace of the blog. Many consider Ion Saliu to be the forefather of blogging. I have hardly been accused of deceit. Virtually everybody realizes that my efforts and intentions are genuine and have intrinsic value. In order to win, one must play; in order to play, one must have a discretionary capital, i.e. a sum of money one can live without. As you have read above, beginning 1997, I barely had money of any kind. Jobless for a long time, I was even forced to apply for public assistance. I also accumulated debt. The jobs I was able to get beginning 1997 barely made ends meet. Working long overtime hours, I had a few moments of seeing modest savings in my account. Then, at least twice a year, my beat-up car would suck-up all those hard-earned savings!
Beginning June 1999, I finally landed a job with a better pay. I figured out, by the end of 1999 I would have acceptable savings in order to use my gambling tools with consistent results. My dream ended on July 13, 1999! I couldn't believe I would ever have such an employment nightmare! My working experience with that better paying job could be described as "five weeks in hell". There was nothing wrong with the job per se, or with the company. I worked as hard as I always do. The supervising team was really pleased with my job. Some of my colleagues, however, were as mean as I had never seen before. I have never seen more hostility and anger towards me. It happened every night of the workweek, every single night. There was no reason for that, since the negative reaction towards me started from the very beginning, before people knowing anything about me. Again, the supervising team was also puzzled by such a reaction. I made serious efforts to overcome the reaction. I frequently used meditation to control the challenge. Unfortunately, things didn't change and I had to leave the place. Once again, I'm faced with a financial challenge.
As always, I have been able to draw some positive insights from that experience. Negative reactions towards me had occurred before. The explanation I drew was simple: some people (especially blue-collar) realize that I am not in the right place. I let people know that I have special interests; therefore my presence among them irritates some. If I am who I appear to be, I ought to go to a place that's right for me! I understand to some extent such a reaction. The last case was very different. The negative reaction started from the very beginning. Nobody had a chance to know anything about my interests, nothing about my computer or creative endeavors.
I am trying now an unorthodox explanation. There are no tools to date to detect brain currents or waves outside the brain. I am trying to hint that the human brains might be able to communicate with one another via electro-magnetic signals! Something similar to radio signals. Again, there are no instruments to measure, not even to detect such signals. Please bear with me a little longer.
As I informed you, I do practice meditation very often. I also get frequently in alpha and theta states of mind (brain waves with specific frequencies). I use sometimes audio-video brainwave machines. I probably created zones in my brain, which are capable of emitting stronger currents. Perhaps other brains are capable of detecting these stronger currents and react to the messages they detect. These reactions occur only in persons in the close group I am with. Meanwhile, I do not receive any brain messages, my reactions towards others tend to remain constant. Also worth noting, this phenomenon does not take place between distant persons and me. Sometimes the signals from my brains generate very positive reactions. It usually happens with some of my female colleagues, even before exchanging any words. I know this theory sounds strange. Using Socrates' dialectic, I look at the entire theory from the opposite angle. What appears to be brain communication is actually what they call "body language". Our bodies could express sometimes messages deeply encrypted in our brains. Who knows...
Maybe the research departments of some universities know more facts about related phenomena (brainwaves, etc.) Soon after I posted the info in this table, I noticed several visits from the medical departments of several well-known universities. I assume they conduct research in the field of brainwaves and the possibility of energy exchange between brains. I am sure this type of research is conducted on a large scale. Even CIA and the U.S. military implemented similar projects for many years. In some points, the CIA project entered the paranormal territory (clairvoyance, telepathy, etc.) The programs were abandoned and declassified. They are now known as remote viewing.
Here are a few more facts about myself. I am most of the time in an alpha state of mind. Many years of practice allow me to easily lower my brainwaves frequency from beta to alpha. I look relaxed and even serene most of the time. Sometimes my serene look irritates some persons who are usually in an alert beta state. It's the kind of people who never take an orderly and calm approach to their job or other things in life. I also show a lot of stamina. I was asked point-blank several times if I have been using narcotic drugs. I have never used drugs. Actually, I have seen drugs only on TV or in movies. I took three drug tests in 1999 as employment requirements. I was totally clean every time. I have no other addictions. I do not smoke. I can go without a drop of alcohol for weeks, even months.
I have no gamble addiction. I have gambled very little and just won a little more than that. I am not addicted to the computer, either. I do not use my home computer more than two hours a day, on the average. I am a very fast and efficient programmer, reusing a lot of code (my code and others' code, in public domain). I know now that I am predisposed to alpha because my brain is predisposed to creating new ideas. I have moments in which my brain demands solitude. The human brain is the most selfish human organ. For example, it consumes around 40% of human body energy! It also requires spending extra time by itself, as in my case, and others'. Hope the universities will tell us more about their brain research. I would open this Web site to their materials...
I have vivid memories about intense, unmistakable hostility towards me beginning late 1980s. I was servicing personal computers. Curiously, it was another immigrant (from India) who couldn't breathe with me in the same room. One day he even offered his “services” to help me quit the company! The only explanation I had (other colleagues too) was linguistic in nature. My fellow immigrant's English was terrible. He couldn't control his hard feelings when comparing his English to mine, another immigrant! Because of that endless incident and for a personal reason, I left the computer store I was working for. I returned to the beloved farm, the starting point of my U.S. employment. I had no incidents out of the ordinary on the farm, until the end of my employment there (1996).
In 1998 it was a supervisor who felt uncomfortable in my presence. People thought my body was in nice shape. The supervisor would first cut my hourly wage down, although my job performance was unquestionably better that in any previous period. Then he would insist I wear at all times a lab coat (XXL, twice my size!) The insistence came during the hot season, not during winter! Wearing a coat was also hazardous in some of the places my job covered. Things were really intense. I was injured twice. I wouldn't have worked there any longer, regardless of pay! Be gone!
At the end of the same year, another incident. It's so hard to work while asked, mockingly, and repeatedly, about the “green card”. It's the work permit issued to the legal immigrants to the United States. I already was a U.S. citizen. But the main problem is that no colleague has the authorization to ask another colleague about his/her immigration status. That incident can always be a hot legal issue.
The weirdest situation happened to me in 1999, a few months after the incident I described above (originally on the CompuPsychology page). I was working as a temp in a warehouse. The majority of the employees were women. I was asked about my marital status. Then… about dating. It was too soon after my arrival there. I did not intend to offend, but I wanted more time to get to know my colleagues. It was considered a negative reaction on my part. I was surprised to hear a lead person getting to me, literally: “You think you are too good? You deserve to be put aboard an airplane and sent back to your country!” This is my country — America! I couldn't believe my ears! How ignorant of the law some of my fellow workers could be! I couldn't last in that place for long, either. The pay was also a misery compared to the effort required on my part.
And so I moved on. I tried two more companies as a temporary employee. The last of the two was not a quiet place at all. They knew me before I got there. My gambling and lottery stuff on my Web site preceded me. My life there was more like a play in the schoolyard! Noisy, you know! Sometimes funny, sometimes tiresome. Football pools were a major event. Nothing could get done without asking for my expertise! Some couldn't believe how good I was. Some believed my destination was Las Vegas. The commute was too long, however. Driving one night in the freezing rain put an end to my schoolyard experience. No, I'm not talking about commuting to Las Vegas…
I landed a permanent computer job in the cleanest and the quietest places I've ever worked in. It was December 2000. It was love at first sight. It still is love. My computer job is seasonal. There is also a period when I perform physical work. No problem there. Problem was, again, another person not feeling comfortable in my presence. I worked hard at ignoring that person's negative reaction vis-à-vis my person. We only worked together in that period of the year. It was very short the first time.
The labor period was a little longer the second time around. I believe the incident with the same person was more serious the second year. Again, I worked hard at ignoring the negative reactions towards me. I did not report any incident. Then, now, in 2003, it happened again. It started more intensely, with the same person. I was badly yelled at, and shouted at. I reported the incidents this year. The person involved did change for the better. Strangely, it caused intense negative reactions in others. A man I had not even known his name started yelling at me. He was enraged. It was at the end of a break. His screaming was unintelligible. That incident looked weird to everybody who witnessed it.
Then another incident. Meanwhile, I accepted to work with somebody who people don't really like to work with. He may be a recovering alcoholic. He reminds of Don Imus, the radio talk host. The same kind of uncontrollable anger. My colleague has raging moments every day, caused by any hiccup of the machinery. But more and more often, my colleague would channel his intense anger towards me. He was most enraged the night I was most helpful to him! I had a bad allergic reaction myself. Not only I shouted, but I also had uncontrollable coughing and sneezing. My blood pressure jumped through the roof. I was soaked in hot sweat. The incident affected me physically for a few days. My condition is good now. I am in an early layoff. I still love that otherwise quietest and cleanest working place there is.
It was during this last turmoil period when I received the extraordinary message from Australia. What a coincidence! It made me wonder again, while resting in bed. Is it brainwaves that send unexplainable messages sometimes? Is it the body language? I don't think I look aggressive at all, or threatening. I am focused inwards. I dress decently, albeit cheaply. I wear those T-shirts I get for free! Now, if it is brainwaves, or body language, or a combination of both—it should happen outside the work place as well. For example, going to the shopping mall, or going to other public places. I am not treated any differently than any other person, even when I speak. I can't hide my accent.
I only remember some mild events. I went to a lottery agent to cash my prize. I played again. I gave the agent a computer printout with my picks. He showed displeasure. Just a form of dislike. Never went back there. I went a few times to a horseracing off-track betting facility. I won a couple of times. My computer printouts were on my table. A few of my neighbors couldn't stand it. They left our table. Was it the computer printouts or my winning that caused their displeasure? But, again, the cases were just funny to me.
It may well be that the Fear and Survival system is always at work. Including situations when we think we send negative messages to others via unconscious channels. Probably I dealt with persons with low self-esteem in all the cases I described. It may also be that the persons with low self-esteem have high goals or ambitions. Then all of a sudden an immigrant shows up. His presence causes an unwanted reality check. In any society, the immigrant has always been at the low end of the social scale. That's how many people perceive an immigrant. It is a common view. I have no problem with that.
Then the immigrant comes in contact with a person with somehow high ambitions or goals or expectations. I speak with an accent and many believe I am from many countries of the world. In fact, my English sounds “like in school”. “This immigrant speaks like an educated person. He knows more things than I know.” Moreover, the immigrant has special skills: Computing. This immigrant perceived low and humble speaks like a doctor and is also computer literate! I simply shook perceptions. As false as they may be, a few people cannot handle shaken perceptions. They simply lose the handle!
This reaction is the result of a conflict between a person's strong perceptions, low self-esteem, high expectations, and a reality check. A person with high expectations or ambitions is usually considered a big ego. A big ego with low self-esteem is usually aggressive towards another ego with better Survival elements. By contrast, a big ego with high self-esteem is in competition with himself/herself only.
I can't comprehend how brainwaves or body language would work over the Internet. I have attracted so much more hatred over the Internet than in any other place! I received incredibly hateful messages as soon as I published the Fundamental Formula of Gambling (FFG). One person, who strongly reacted to FFG, came back and begged me twice to remove it from my Web site! There is another hateful act on the Internet with a morbid reaction when FFG is mentioned. Somebody said that person was the first man killed by a formula!
The body language is excluded, since we all are “invisible” on the Internet.
The discussion leads naturally to gambling. I started with two goals in mind. One was to make money and be financially independent. Second, gambling is science (theory of games). Research has always been a strong attraction for me. I delved too deeply in the research. I almost neglected the practical side of gambling: The days I spent in bed lately helped understand myself better. In fact, unconsciously, my intense activity in gambling research has had a pragmatic motivation. I knew I would always have problems in any work place. Gambling would be one of the few activities I wouldn't need to work with anybody to make money. I went so far because I wanted to make sure gambling was a realistic tool. I went also very far in the research and I neglected the practical side.
The main obstacle has always been the bankroll. While my bankroll has grown slightly, I grew older, less bold, less daring—some would remark. Or maybe I am a procrastinator. Procrastinator? How come I never stop writing more powerful programs? More complex, too. So much more complex that I can no longer handle programming as easily and quickly as in years past. But this entire perfectionist honing of my programs has an explanation in the FearSurvival system: Idealist and pragmatist bridging towards each other.
I am a computing beast, after all. And I also became a writer — as you can see below.
My interests led me to some important discoveries in theory of probability. The formulas and algorithms represent undeniable mathematics and will be valued even better down the road in history. My probability book is just a prolegomenon — a necessary preliminary step. That fundamental formula now widely known as FFG lays the foundation of the most accurate interpretation of The_Everything. My next act will be the book closest to the Truth. There is no absolute certainty; randomness rules the Universe.
Read Ion Saliu's first book in print: Probability Theory, Live!
Discover profound philosophical implications of the Formula of TheEverything, including brain waves, mind, communication, body language, behavior.
Resources in Philosophy, Humans, Humanities, Ideas, Truth
See a comprehensive directory of the pages and materials on the subject of philosophy, humans, humanities, ideas, truth, Human_Computing_Beast.