Shingles, Tingles, and Mingles: A Survival Story ~
Intelligent Design or Cruel Designer?

"The man who gets angry at the right things and with the right people, and in the right way and at the right time and for the right length of time, is commended."
Aristotle.

• September 13, 2005 – a few hours after the conclusion of the first Monday Night Football game of the season. I was struck by SHINGLES, a viral infection medically known as herpes zoster. It affects the left leg, in my case. In worse cases (e.g. David Letterman's), SHINGLES affects the face, posing a serious threat to the eyes. If you don't know how it is or how it feels, pray that you'll never need to know! One precisely sadistic moment in the night brings to life the true meaning of excruciating as in excruciating pain. To add insult and salt to the injury, the post-herpetic neuralgia (PHN) differs from individual to individual. No predictor can tell when the pain goes away. Some say in weeks, others months, or even years!

My condition somehow tortured me for zero years, two months, three weeks, five days, six hours, and 28 minutes — give or take a few (my alarm clock does not display the seconds). Then came that almost unexpected moment when I was convinced my healing was real, not illusory. Illusion had appeased me a few times while skating on the thin ice of hope. I marked the date to be forever remembered: 77^th December 2005. I felt like the happiest mortal in the solar system. But, hey, who's not mortal? Show me the immortal one and I shall dig his grave for free!
(Still wishful thinking as of this point in time....Trying to enforce positive thinking and self–fulfilling prophecy....)

• Is suffering meant to be part of the Intelligent Design? If yes, why the hell so? A herd of cave–brained zealous mystics advanced in recent years a theory called the Intelligent Design. They brought the Theory of Evolution to trial on behalf of the Intelligent Design. In fact, it is a scheme to mask Creationism, the religious doctrine. It's all about creationism attempting to push out of schools the theory of evolution, all science, if possible. Call it the Monkey Trial Redivivus. Or, if you will, the Monkey Trial Version 2.0. A God's call to the arms! The trial takes place right in my area: Dover (Pennsylvania) School District. A Monkey Trial Version 2.1 is to take place in the state of Kansas. More versions to be released, all the way to the U.S. Supreme Court…
• The Monkey Trial is a real-life event that took place in 1925 in Tennessee, USA, "the buckle of the Bible Belt" and home of the devilish KKK. The dramatic event was immortalized in a great film: Inherit the Wind (1960). Spencer Tracy and Frederick March displayed rarely seen like-performances in movies. There are great quotes from that film:
• "It is the duty of a newspaper to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable." Garrison Keillor (of A Prairie Home Companion fame) converted it to "The Gospel comforts the afflicted and afflicts the comfortable."
• "He that troubleth his own house shall inherit the wind."

An Intelligent Design requires an Intelligent Designer, right? For example, my computer programs are intelligently designed. But somebody intelligent had to design them — it happened to be yours truly. Why does the Intelligent Designer need viruses or bacteria in Its design? Seems to me, the Designer is sadistic, rather than intelligent. Kind of added the suffering in order to torture the creatures who possess self–awareness. Seems to me, the Designer is kind of a Cosmic Doctor Mengele who sadistically experiments with all forms of life.

Better call it the Cruel Design. Add to it two dozen hurricanes a year, a hundred tornadoes, a couple of earthquakes of mythological proportions, why not a tsunami as well, one multi–million–life pandemic… God has a fancy name now! He probably wears designer's shoes when he kicks in the butt the hell out of all forms of life!

On the other hand, the way Reality works does not imply intelligent, or cruel, or blissful, or stupid… It is as–is. All forces interact randomly. Randomness represents the ultimate fairness in the Universe. Every element has a shot. There is Nobody/nothing to decide who or what gets the upper–hand, or who/what is to fail. Otherwise, the endless loop of Absurdity would take place. A Designer must have been created by a higher Designer, who, in turn is the creation of yet another more powerful Designer……….↓ ∞ ↑ ∞

The mystical zealots spend fortunes to advance their cave–brained falsity named theory of intelligent design. All that money could save thousands of children's lives in misfortunate places on this planet. Instead of wasting all that money in a Dark Ages hallucinatory frenzy, they could donate the money to medical research. Medical research to find new cures for infectious diseases. Medical research to find new antibiotics for the superbugs of these days. The viruses and germs follow the theory of evolution, not the hallucinatory intelligent design. The viruses and bacteria evolve and develop resistance to medicines. The microscopic threat could wipe out the human species, regardless of an intelligent or dumb design! Most likely, that's what happened to the dinosaurs.

No force can wipe out a species in one stroke. A species goes extinct slowly, in unnoticeable steps. At one point, the immune system surrenders to the devouring enemy agents. Individuals of the species die in huge numbers. AIDS could have been the tragic example for Homo sapiens. If 10 million deaths a year would turn into 10 million deaths a day, humans would become the talk of some other intelligent species. That intelligent species would talk, 100 million years from now, as we talk about the dinosaurs now. Big difference, though: The dinosaurs were not equipped with reasoning, the most powerful tool in the war named evolution. Homo sapiens has a mental operating system (MOS) that creates Reason, albeit insufficiently used or misused in so many situations!

It is very intriguing how the HIV (the virus that causes AIDS) evolves. We can see the HIV evolution under our very eyes…electronic eyes, that is. By the way, we would have never had electronic eyes if rational humans had not kicked the tail ends of the intelligent design dinosaurs and the likes! The cruelty-legion of the mystics has always opposed any advancement in science and technology. The solar system … the telescope… the microscope… dissection of cadavers… electricity… stem cell research… aspirin… penicillin… you name it, they have opposed it… Where would humanity be now if the zealots of mysticism had it their way?!

The AIDS virus grows stronger to medicines over relatively short times: Months, even weeks. The virus strains that respond better to medicines grow in numbers in a dramatic way. The “old” strain of the HIV goes the dinosaur's way! Now, some medical scientists took the AIDS patients out of medication. The reversed phenomenon takes place. The strained better adapted to medicines severely diminishes in numbers. Meanwhile, the old virus strain, which does not respond well to the medicine threat, grows in numbers, but less dramatically. This appears to be a good treatment tactic. A number of AIDS patients have shown visible health improvements by alternating medication periods with medication-free periods. An extraordinary example of evolution at work!

• Note – On December 20, 2005 the federal judge in charge of the case ruled against the teaching in school of the theory of intelligent design.
  Judge John E. Jones III (a Republican appointed by President George W. Bush!) ruled that intelligent design was a re–labeling of creationism or "creation science". Consequently, intelligent design had no place in the public schools based on a previous ruling of the U.S. Supreme Court. The Supreme Court had ruled that creation science was not science at all, but a particular religion in disguise. Therefore there is no place for religious teachings in the U.S. public schools — based on the constitutional clause of the separation of state and religion.

  The Dover, PA School Board reacted passively to the judge's ruling: They will not appeal the court decision. The only intelligent move of the Intelligent Design Dinosaurs (IDDs)!

  Bravo, Judge! What a great case to prove the great foundation of the American system of justice! Thanks for not permitting ignorance and mysticism to find a place under the roof of my hou'! I feel better now. I ain't the fruit of the incest committed by Noah with his own daughters!

How grotesquely insane is to reduce evolution in general, human evolution especially, to a story like –

“A 600-year old man built a wooden boat that housed millions of animals. The animal kingdom's survival was thusly assured. Then, the 600-year old man had sex with his own daughters and thusly the survival of the Homo sapiens species was accomplished. Humanity is the fruit of incest performed by Noah and his daughters!”

I pay tribute to all cultured and well-read, brilliant linguists of the Dark Ages. They paid with the blood in their veins and the flesh on their bones for the “audacity” to translate the Bible in their own languages! The powers-that-be opposed such endeavors with harsh cruelty.

The “rationale” of the Inquisitors went something like this: “We are the heirs of the Civilization of Socrates, Plato, Aristotle. How would people react when they will read the Scripture in their native tongues — and understand it? Those horrible stories created by illiterate, barbaric shepherds of the Middle Eastern deserts?! The people would burn us at stake when they will read that Humanity is the fruit of incest committed by the 600-year old Noah with his own daughters!!!”

Instead of such horrible, insanely grotesque hallucinations, teach the children true facts about the atom and the universe. Those religious aberrations sicken the young minds! No wonder my grandparents kept the family Bible under locks — so that I could never find it and read those stories conceived by sickest "minds"! That's the most… faithful translation of “the word of God”. In truth, all religions and religious texts are full of sick-and-sickening stories. Even the Ancient Greeks, the creators of Reason, Mathematics, Philosophy, had a religion plagued by numerous insanely-horrendous stories. Incest was at the top of the food chain: Zeus was married to his own sister, Hera. And that after the luck of the draw to be saved from being cannibalized by his ow father, Cronos!

Hallelujah! Let's sing Hymn 911:

“Abe, Aby, Abraham,
You turned a son into ham,

And your parents into stakes…
Did you bake God to hot cakes?

You fried Pharaohs to steam…
Then made Jesus ice-cream!”

The lyrics are style-inspired by the great medieval poet François Villon, who lived in fear while Inquisition was in power. The tune is inspired by the Hispanic-American folk song Soy un povre araucano. One of the two verses is repeated, then the refrain: Para, pa ra ra ra, ra ra, etc. The melody is showcased in this YouTube video:

• When something like SHINGLES strikes, it's only fitting (!) that I also get more abuse via the Internet. The hits have to come in twos. I remember the severe flu that struck me in 2000. My suffering had to be accompanied by so many more emails and garbage posts in my forum! My message board was open at that time. I had to shut it down. And I learned a good lesson of life.

The too-kind man is an abused man.

It is a manifestation of the normal probability rule. Each and every one of us faces about 1% of humans who act as irritants. The more humans one deals with, the larger the absolute number represented by that tiny 1%!

The cyber attacks have turned worse than imaginable! My computer has been literally invaded by hijackers, Trojans, worms, dialers… Here are some of the bastards that must be obliterated, physically, if no other solution exists. Apropos (dialer), PeopleOnPage (hijacker), ISTBar, YourSiteBar, SurfAccuracy, etc.

This time around I take tougher measures. I uproot the weeds mercilessly. No spam or harassment escapes punishment. They might not feel all the effects immediately, but they won't escape the punishment of Chronos! The most pathological cases might as well end up on a list of troublemakers in some government agency.

Let me do public service while at it. There are things that nobody should bother me or anyone else with. Common decency tells that some questions should not be asked and issues never raised. I still receive emails with regards such issues. I'll categorize them here and thus spare headaches and hostility — and danger of heart failure for the hottest-headed bullies. This is the cyber idiom they understand best.

• My lottery, lotto, and gambling software is complex. But it also very intelligent and very well founded. The software is also very, very well documented. Granted, the documentation may be spread over several pages, but all the pages belong to the same web site. The pages are also very well cross–referenced. Good searching is also available at www.saliu.com. The documentation amounts to hundreds of pages with useful, no non–sense content. What's the purpose, then, of asking for information on how to use my software??? Crass idiotism is the only explanation.

• You know better than anyone else that you are a superficial person. You have the tendency to overlook things. Other people have told you that. If you know you are not a real idiot, but you know that you are superficial — do the task twice. Read the documentation one more time. You'll already notice some of the things you had overlooked. What if you repeat the task again, and potentially again… It does much more good to you than rushing questions like a child in desperation!

• I do not care about your lottery a bit. Don't do that act of extreme insanity and send me your data files. I don't play the lottery for anybody, but myself. I am so much busier than you — remember, I am the one who writes the great software! You don't have to spend a minute on that. Did I mention that I also give you the great tools for free? Honestly, does a jerk like you deserve such generosity? Count also the other jerks like you. How many hours does your pathetic mind think my day has?

• How does my software work? It works great, because I put great effort into it. My working is dedicated to the great humanity (no, you don't belong there, if you behave like this!) What kind of insanity is that when you can't stop asking me to tell you how the filters are constructed, what the formulas are, how about the source code, etc. etc. Who do you think is such an idiot to reveal all his trade secrets? You want to create something as great, or even greater? Put your brains to work! Otherwise you are nothing but a disgusting beggar. That's how I view you — and then I uproot the weed! Multiply by the number equal to all the suckers like you.

• Don't you ever ask me for more freebies. How much more can one developer offer for free? I've been asked for a thousand times more freeware than what's already much more than anything else by one individual. The 'What's New' and 'Contact' pages show exactly what's available for a fee and how to approach me in that regard. Money comes first, and there is no exception to that rule. If you think it's too expensive — shut up and get the hell out of here! I don't want a penny from bastards!

• You think you are the most special person in the world, the only one who deserves to chat or correspond with me. I don't feel that way. Count all those cry–for–attention babies like you. I am booked forever. Pour a strong drink when you feel like dying if I don't reply to you. I only care about my sanity.

• It's futile to insist that I write again in public forums. I can't think now of more horrible places than most Internet forums. Staying for a minute is an unbearable torture — worse than SHINGLES! Those forums, seems to me, are meant to be schools for idiotic students and sick bullies. I got no skills in special education. I have a hard time dealing with idiots. Nor am I a doctor — I got a hard time trying to heal demented bullies. I did try in earnest.
Not to mention that I would waste a lot of time for nothing. There has to be a benefit for me as well for my time spent in public forums. All I would get is mouth–foaming curses from the demented bullies. And never ending questions from the love–to–be–this–numb–minded idiots. I'll always be back to square one. Nobody can't predict nothin'. Or – How do I run your software?

• Somehow, I feel for the idiots. But, then again, each and every one of us is an idiot in most fields. For example, I know I am an idiot in genetics. On the other hand, I would love to know much more in genetics and the genetic code. What can I do? Go to expert sites and bombard the experts with idiotic questions? That would be insane. It is not the way to learn. My best way is to put my own effort into it. I must study very carefully more materials. I may never become an expert in the genetic field, but I should be able to acquire a satisfactory volume of information. And, in the process, I did not bother or antagonize innocent people.

• I remember the Spartan civilization and the role of women. The Spartan women held a lot of power, not only for that era. The mothers were quite tough with their own sons. A son complained to his mother that his sword was too short. "Step forward and your sword will be one step longer!" his mother advised. The beautiful Spartan women (remember Helen of Troy? she was a princess of Sparta) also trained very seriously. They competed against men (including at the Olympics) and sometimes beat men. The Spartan girls had an interesting method of training. Superb public shows! The brave daughters of Artemis would jump high in the air and drum their naked, beautiful asses with their own feet.

• I was inspired by the Spartan training regimen and added oomph to it. You want to succeed, you must train thoroughly. Attach horseshoes to your feet. Kick yourself in the butt with your own horseshoes. It's far more effective than running around asking silly questions, or begging others to hand out to you their fruits of effort. Jump high in the air and drum your ass with your own horseshoes! If you are curious, the Spartan training propelled me to the status of intelligent designer of very intelligent software and historic discoveries. I am the Athenian who trains like the Spartans.

An editor's note 2009
The manner of speech makes a huge difference in life. The manner in which we specifically address specific individuals is a very important social rule. I give a lot of credit to Publius Terentius Afer. He taught us a lesson in theory of evolution via a wise saying:

Ut homo est, ita morem geras. Suit your manner to the man.

Boy, did it make a difference in my life, or what? After what was considered harsh language, my just words expressed here brought a lot of serenity in my life. The bullies and the thick-headed foes got my message loud and clear. I've had far, far fewer antagonizing moments. The amount of irritating messages dropped dramatically. And that despite the fact that I instituted paid membership as a condition of downloading my software! I had a much worse time when it was all-free around here!

Of course, the overwhelming majority of humans are reasonable persons. They were not hurt by my tough language. They understood my means of defense. In a way, this page represents evolution at work. It's all about the Fear_Survival, the fundamental principle of life. The weak do not survive… easily! Nor the too-nice...

Read Ion Saliu's first book in print: Probability Theory, Live!
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