I wrote on such (dangerous) topics in 2005: "They Shoot Horses, Don't They?" * – Sports Television Employs Drama, Tragedy to Boost TV Ratings, Kentucky Derby. Was it investigative reporting, or just fiction? I hadn't written ever since on the same type of topics because I was too busy. Great repeat-visitors of this cyberspace feared I was already history (due to that piece of writing). Perhaps my ghost(s) was writing my Web pages and, of course, my fantastic software!
I can tell you for a fact that neither was true until this day of grace June 7, 2008. I wrote this very date as 6/7/08 as the latest update of that blasphemously great collection of bits and bytes known as THE SOFTWARE. Actually, it is my software.
Therefore, I am not writing fiction AND I am not a ghost.
Axiomatic ones, please bear with me while I'll let everybody willing to inspect my left thumb.
I can tell you in the strongest of terms that the night before I had set my alarm clock to 8:15 AM. I wanted to write the night before (6/6/08) what you would be pleased to read now. Alas! I would have missed the target by miles, and miles, and miles… like in that great The Who song…
That 6/7/08 date coincided with the French Open Tennis Women's Final. This year it fell on a Saturday, like in every past year for quite a few of the past years. Nice to see all those beautiful women competing, hitting, and screaming… More often than not, women's tennis is more exciting to watch than men's tennis. Not because I am a man, but because men are more efficient but less exciting machines. “Bang-Bang! Get out of here!”
I wanted to watch Roland Garros, for sure. But, chiefly, I wanted to deliver kind of a blow. The third jewel of the Triple Crown in horse racing was to be cut off that day, as it were. Please do me the greatest of favors and raise your hands for a Y (it's like Yes in my command prompt software). How many of you expected me to write something about the Belmont Stakes horse race? Wow! More hands by about a standard deviation from what I had calculated…
That was the main topic I wanted to web-write about on 6/6/08. It was late Friday night very close to Saturday morning 6/7/08. I sensed it was too late for what I wanted to say to be really significant. Hey, you heard about that broken bone in a leg of the great favorite, Big Brown? Ain't worth betting on it. It might not pay better than 1 to 2. Better look for a 30 to 1 win, 100 to 1 exacta, 1000 to 1 trifecta. Use my horse-racing software to give you the appropriate figures.
I also wanted to say this: Keep in mind the organized crime. Do you think this is fiction? Look at my left thumb. It is band-aided now. It is still bloody. Yes, I'm injured. It happened this morning of Saturday 6/7/08. If working in a lab, you can collect blood samples from around my… bed… and toolboxes… and other places. I used a hammer and other things. I'll tell you mo' about it later…
Big Brown was a big favorite to win the Belmont Stakes and therefore complete the great sports feat known as The Triple Crown. The big favorite is also a big horse with strikingly great qualities. Big Brown looked so great and invincible that his winning would have paid only 1 dollar for 4 dollars bet. That's what the odds said: Big Brown: 1-4. Many people know how honest I am, because they also know me as Parpaluck. So, my fellow Terrestrials, only idiots would bet on a horse paying 1 dollar for 4 dollars bet — IF winning! Oops! Millions of dollars were dished out that way. So, perhaps the dollars were idiotic! That's why the US dollars falling so miserably at this time of writing (it happens periodically)!
I gave up writing on the injured horse topic. It was sanely obvious to forget about betting on Big Brown at Belmont Stakes. At the same time, I had been extremely busy updating all my software packages known to the world as Bright.EXE. I was happy to figure out the last (hopefully!) errors in my software. I only wanted to watch the tennis next morning and then upload the updated software to my website. I went to bed before the clock struck the midnite! Oooo! There is no such clock anywhere close, although my new place is in the heart of that great outdoors museum dedicated to the Battle of Gettysburg during the Civil War (July 1-3, 1863). Does it resemble fiction or history?
My bed looked okay… in the same condition as the day I rented this place, say, 34 days, one week, 9 days, 28 hours, 66 minutes, 83 seconds ago. I moved from Cashtown, where the Historic Inn is supposed to be inhabited by ghosts! Never had an incident there, although I disappeared a few times, including from my own view. There is a Civil War ghost house here, in Gettysburg, as well… But I am way too fresh here to attract ghosts... Who knows...
My bed didn't look okay on the morning of Saturday 6/7/08. The frame almost guillotined me! The chances were good for that event happen. As you know, I'm talking about the degree of certainty when I express opinions about things that should or should not happen.
Don't get me wrong. I want to stress this more emphatically than my non-native English language allows me without the risk of losing my U.S. Citizenship. I got nothing against the Italians, American-Italians, Any-Nationality-Americans, or Any-Nationality humans. I'm not a ghost, but some fear I am a reincarnation-experiment of Socrates. Ain't true: I am Parpaluck. I want to echo one of greatest quotations attributed to the humble stone chiseler:
I am a citizen of the world.
Some people misunderstood my article referred to at the very beginning. I hadn't jotted down more details because they hadn't crossed my mind. I hadn't presented details on the guy in that investigative report (?) originating in the 131st incarnation of the Kentucky Derby. It is really bad if people make such assumptions that I categorize as profiling.
Did you know that I was about to forfeit this apartment because somebody heard my name pronounced as Juan instead of Ion? Never mind that it's still not Ion, but… Yon! Ugh! A Mexican illegal, some might have worried about. The reaction of the regular US guy and gal is almost Inquisition-religiously anti-Mexican these days! That's profiling! This country of my adoption is already in great trouble because of oil and the so-perceived oil-puppet president…
Without the farmhand Mexicans, there would be another Civil War fought in the U.S. of A. today — because of severe food shortages. A guy with white supremacy tendencies warned me about it in 2000. He said the civil war would erupt around 20 years from that time… I don't think so now… and I most definitely hope NOT! The US farmers and other businesses might as well sponsor an invasion war against Mexico and jump-start a modern-era slave trade! The Mexican drug lords would be more than happy to help Hermanos del Norte!
Seriously now. Is the world conspiring against US, with these oil prices and pressure against the US dollar? We are smothered here! We can't live without personal transportation in most places in this country. Public transportation is harder to implement than flying to the Moon, believe me! I heard pundits say that the world at large forgave the U.S. for electing her President the first time. But the world does not forgive America for her choice the second time around!
Yes, today the spoiler at Belmont Stakes was a horse trained by an Italian-American. The same Italian-American trained the horse that (who?) spoiled another big-time favorite in 2004: Smarty Jones, the pride of Pennsylvania. The trainer lives in New York… make it Belmont. Please, don't get me wrong! The guy I talked about in that 2005 report was, actually, more than one (REAL) person. I just asked one of them: "Do you have license to carry weapons?"
"Not!" he answered. "We have no arms..."
Not sounded a lot like Nyet. I know a thing or two about linguistics. For starters, I was a refugee in Yugoslavia during the Cold War (that war was very civil, though, for no blood was spilled). I worked as a translator for the United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees (UNHCR).
I wrote very appreciatively about that agency at my site. I loved to be a volunteer, and I did volunteer. I was a translator, even for languages I had never studied or spoken! The only thing was my shoes. I had to cover some territory by walking. I only needed money for a pair of shoes. I never got them shoes. I flew to the US in a pair of borrowed shoes, although they needed serious fixing, with all kinds of laces and strings to hold 'em around my feet. Anyway, rest assured, I got to the US. Actually, you don't need any shoes when flying (unless the socks stink… which is never my case!) Again, I wrote here how one of the ugliest songs ever became one of my favorites in music: "A pair of sensible shoes" – Lottery and Gambling Experience: Robbed of Prize Money.
I wrote like my bed guillotined me last night! Nyet! The guy who some feared I referred to as to Italian-Americans talked to me like Non — when it was Nyet. He also repeated ciao to me after just about every sentence.. Nevertheless, it sounded like an Asian-American in the Bud Light TV commercial that says Bood Lite. BUDD Lite! BOOd Lite! BUDD Lite! BOOd Lite! My favorite TV commercial — really phunny!
The bed, indeed, was like a weapon last night… or last morning. I noticed a couple of metal rails under the bed when I moved in here. I was too busy to pay close attention to the issues. The terrible screaming of my bed woke me up earlier than regularly this Saturday morning. I jumped to the floor when I realized that the head frame of my bed could have decapitated me! The bed simply fell apart! All the metal rails were under bed, plus some sustaining boards! I had a very hard job this morning, before watching the two extraordinarily beautiful young women playing for the French Open Tennis Championship. I did watch… and I enjoyed it very much. It was a well-played tennis game.
I couldn't say entirely the same thing about the first game of the NBA Finals on Thursday night, 6/5/08. The local TV station carrying the game in my area went off the air soon after the third quarter. I was unable to watch the conclusion of the game. Every TV station that my antenna catches was on air. That defaulted TV station was on the air the following day, though! Was it only my TV set? Nyet! I don't think so. Was it the basketball game too… blackish? They say, Pennsylvania is Philadelphia on one side, Pittsburgh on the other side, and Alabama in between. I hope not. I really want to watch the NBA Finals, not NASCAR racing (too whitey, and especially Vanilla-Ice unexciting for me!)
NBA basketball was my first sports-hook when I came over to these great United States of America. My U.S. sports interest started with the Magic-Bird joust in 1985. I lived with my sponsors during the NBA Finals of 1985. The lady of the house politely but firmly asked me to switch from an NBA Finals primetime game. She wanted to watch a pre-season pro football game (Pittsburgh Steelers were a lousy team that time… up until 1990s!) Or was it a baseball game? They play more than 160 games in the baseball regular season. One game counts so little… let's be honest. A championship game must be perceived a lot more important by any reasonable sports fan!
Why do out-of-this-world favorites fail at Belmont Stakes, the third leg of the Triple Crown? "It's New York, stupid," some shout right away (from the red states). Look at that poor goddam horse, Big Brown. He did get no chance! His leg was hurt! Why does it have to happen? How much money do they pay for the care of a hugely popular horse? And the horse still gets hurt?
How about some numbers in dollars and sense? Big Brown would have paid 1 dollar for 4 dollars bet. Miserable, ain't it? The 2008 winner, Da'Tara paid $79 for the win! The exacta paid $670; trifecta paid $3700. Hey, that's good money if you multiply it by the thousands. A lot of the money came from those who bet on Big Brown win: It amounted to huge amounts of money on a losing proposition!
Don't look at those surveillance cameras! You ain't gonna see nobody carrying sacks of money to some teller and dumping the sack across the teller's window! If they are well organized in this, they can make truckloads of sacks of money. And I believe they do. You won't see anything suspect over the tapes of the surveillance cameras. For it defies theory of probability that no horse can win the Triple Crown in 30 years. Remember Point Given I wrote about at this very Web site? Software Predictions, Results at Belmont Stakes Horse Racing. Well, they spared him. They didn't break his legs, or spine, or punch his eyes, or make him sire the Trojan Mare. Point Given won the Belmont Stakes, but not the Kentucky Derby! Heh? And they killed the second finisher at the Kentucky Derby 2008! Huh?
What's the big deal if I had written about the 2008 Belmont Stakes one day in advance? Money, you guessed it right. But with the falling US dollar, it makes absolutely no sense to disturb people good night's sleep. Besides, I didn't have a good night's sleep anyway. I was not sure about a routine in my lottery wheeling programs. For sure, I was right about the error. I was able to fix it soon after the French Open.
I would have loved to drink some French wine. Wine would be deadly now, and here. We were under a heat advisory (over 105 degrees Fahrenheit, 6/7/8). I went to buy beer instead. As a catch, I left my door unlocked. Maybe I would catch a mouse inside! Remember about the mice invasion in the article quoted in the very beginning? It did happen in 2004, after the Olympics of 2004! Is the next Olympiad held in PR of China in August of 2008?! So what if I said a negative thing or two about Communism and China at this very (great) Web site? Hey, that's where I was born! Under Communism!
I couldn't catch anybody (or anything). I had left my air conditioner running! Its sound could have been heard from the… next-door battlefield! Anyway, I triple-checked my bed... and I'll check it again tonight... several more times! Where do the ghosts sleep, anyway?
People smell conspiracy in just everything they hear and say. The reaction to conspiracy is: “You are paranoid!” Yeah, right! But isn't each and every one of us caught in conspiracies so many times in our lifetimes? Just remember honestly how many times you were in a discussion with at least another person. Conspiracy means at least two humans. And you talked adversely about another human — who was not participating in the discussion. “We don't like that person, you said (your group). We should get rid of that person!” (Not necessarily physically... just kick him out of our business!)
You might have decided adversely against your spouse with another man/woman.
The reverse is true about each and every one of us. Individually, you and I have been the targets of many a conspiracy. Groups of other people talk adversely about each and every one of us while we are not present — many times during our lifetime. We don't like that person, they say about each and every one of us. We don't want him/her around here! We want to get rid of her/him, they “decide” about each and every one of us.
Your spouse might have decided adversely against you with another man/woman.
My website is hack-attacked hundreds of times a day, every day, precisely from the same IP locations around Terra. It is two or more individuals who have decided to take adverse action against yours truly — without consulting me! I return the favor…
That is conspiracy. Therefore, my fellow Terrestrials, I may carve in stone this social law, although I've never been a sculptor:
Conspiracy is the most common fact of life.
We live to conspire, not conspire to live.
Those surprisingly wise Romans said (for 'twas so far long ago):
Read between the lines.
They shoot the horses too, don't they?
I'm sorry to say, but they'll shoot Big Brown too. Cover your tracks!
”Voulez-vous coucher avec moi?” (ABBA girls)
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* The title of a great film starring Jane Fonda.